


20

by moonworld82



Category: C-ute, Hello! Project, Morning Musume.
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/F, Femslash, Friendship, Gen, Idols, Japanese Bands, Music, Romance, Shoujo-ai, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-05-03 22:14:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5309048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonworld82/pseuds/moonworld82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Mai's birthday! She is turning twenty and now considered as an adult.<br/>As the party with her fellow C-ute members ends, another night begins! Mai's life and C-ute future will never be the same!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Dear reader, english is not my native language, so, I count on your patience and understanding concerning spelling errors and grammatical mistakes. I love feedbacks, so, feel free to write what you think about this fic!  
> Thanks and enjoy your read!

The party was now over. The girls ate and drank a lot and Mai was totally canned. She felt she drank too much alcohol but she didn’t care, it was her birthday. She was now 20, an adult, and she had to celebrate it properly.  
Chisato was, like always, at her side and seemed quite tired. It was 2 a.m and they still had to clean everything. Mai couldn’t help but sighed heavily.

“Are you ok Mai-chan?” Chisato asked with a look of concern in her eyes.

“No, I don’t wanna clean this mess” confessed Mai with an annoyed look on your face.

“But you know you have to. You lost your bet with Nacky and got drunk, so, you now have to clean. But! Don’t worry! You have Super Chisato to help you!” told the short girl with proud and a big smile on her face although her eyes seemed pretty sleepy.

“Well, great…” Sighed Mai, disappointed by the way the party was ending.

“What enthusiasm Mai-chan! I’m sure you would have preferred Yajima to stay with you but the tall airhead is busy taking home Airi right now.”

Chisato was now grumpy and looked annoyed. She got up and began to take empty bottles to put them in the trash can.

Mai watched the scene silently.

Chisato was perfect: she was nice, fun, sweet, good at cooking and always ready to give up to her caprices because she loved her since the beginning. But she was short, too short and not to her taste. Chisato has always been her best friend, her childhood buddy and she couldn’t consider her otherwise.  
On the contrary, Maimi was tall, beautiful, sexy, nice, sweet, charming and totally to her taste but she was deeply in love with Airi and engaged to her. What a pain! Her youth really sucked!

Mai didn’t understand why Chisato never moved on and fell in love with another girl. She said quite a few times to her that she was just her best friend but the shorter °C-ute member have continued to be too nice, too smiling and too comforting toward her. Chisato couldn’t move on with Mai around and everybody was well aware of it, except her who stubbornly repeated she had given up on the younger girl.

Maybe Mai was too difficult. She always loved Maimi but the tall girl only considered her as her little sister. On the other hand, Chisato loves her more than everything and would do anything to please her. Maybe she should just give it a try?

While all these thoughts twirled inside her blurry mind, Chisato was now back at Mai side and watched her worriedly.

“Mai-chan, are you sure you’re ok? I can take you home and clean alone the room if you want?” Chisato asked with a concerned look on her face.

“Oh shut up! Why are you always so…?” Mai began with an annoyed look on her face which changed quickly to a determined one.

“Eh?” Had just the time to say Chisato when Mai’s lips find hers.

“Mai-chan?! What’s this? You’re…You’re obviously not feeling well! You’re drunk! I…I take you home!” Chisato shouted. She was now brightly red.

“Oh shut up Chisato! Tell me you don’t want it so badly!” The younger °C-ute member scolded angrily while sitting astride on her friend’s lap.

“Mai-chan, I…I’m not sure it’s a good idea…” Chisato suggested with a faintly voice while her friend wrapped her arms around her neck.

“Shut up I said and let it go…” Mai answered with a longing look toward her best friend.

She then tried to kiss Chisato again. Although shocked and taken aback, the shorter girl managed to avoid the first kiss but unfortunately not the second. This time, it was not a simple peck but a deep one, which made her blush immediately and furiously.  
Chisato tried to resist. She knew this was a very bad idea but strangely, her body refused to move. The third kiss was deeper and her mind went totally blank. The fourth kiss was passionate and Chisato totally abandoned herself to it.

When they broke the kiss, she took Mai with strength in her arms and began with a soft and sad voice: “Mai-chan…please let’s stop here. You know it’s not a good idea…”

“I’m an adult now Chissaa and I know what I want.” Mai answered with a tone full of confidence.

“You’re drunk Mai-chan, it doesn’t count…” Chisato pleaded, relieved to have regained her sanity.

“Yes, I drank a little too much tonight but I never felt so sure of what I want in my entire life! I just want you Okai Chisato, not Yajima Maimi or anybody else. Why don’t you trust me? I’m not a little girl you know…”

“Mai-chan, don’t talk like that. I take you home. You’ll have a good rest and tomorrow you’ll feel better. Please get up…” The older °C-ute member asked while releasing the other girl.

Mai didn’t answer nor moved and just took Chisato’s face in her hands. Brushing away her bangs, she saw tears in the eyes of the older girl and began to kiss her softly on the lips to ease her fears.

“Don’t torture me like this Mai-chan. I know you don’t love me and you never will…”Chisato was now begging her best friend. Her tears were running down freely on her cheeks.

“What do you know about my feelings? I never talked to you about that…” Mai answered in a soothing tone.

“You prefer Yajima, Mai-chan, since the very first day…”

“Maybe I changed my mind. I grew older Chissaa, I’m not fourteen anymore…”

Mai was still kissing lightly Chisato’s face but the girl didn’t move, still crying and paralyzed by sadness. Mai then took her in arms and tried to ease her pain by gently stroking her back. Chisato wrapped her arms around Mai waist and buried her face in her chest.

“Don’t make me hope for something between us unless you truly mean it Mai-chan…Don’t play with my feelings…” Chisato asked with a serious and saddened tone.

“I promise.” The younger girl answered solemnly.

Chisato lifted her head to look her loved one in the eyes. Her eyes were puffed from crying and lack of sleep but her face expression was now pretty serious, something quite unusual for anybody knowing the clown member of °C-ute.

She slowly made her way to Mai’s lips and kissed them gently while wrapping her arms around her waist. The younger girl kissed back passionately while wrapping her arms around Chisato’s neck and began to stroke her hair seductively.

As her desire grew stronger, Chisato was now caressing Mai’s back but the curves of the younger girl were not enough, she wanted to feel the smooth of her skin. So, she decided to take the piece of cloth off.

The tee-shirt fell on the floor and Chisato took a look at the upper body of Mai. She sure saw her quite a few times in bikini, for Alo Hello programs, but to look her in underwear was far better.

Mesmerized by her beauty and the fact that she grew to be such a beautiful woman, Chisato couldn’t help but take the younger girl in her arms and trail soft kiss on her neck. Intoxicated by her perfume, she wanted to smell it till the end of times.

Chisato’s hands were stroking Mai’s bra fabric and quickly found how to take it off.

Mai was now bare-chest and Chisato could caress her breasts as much as she wanted. She felt she never got tired of stroking them. Soft moans escaped Mai’s lips and her body was growing hotter each minute passed.

Chisato felt like she was in paradise. She was making love to the girl she loved for as long as she could remember. Her years of longing and frustration seemed so far away right now, as if they had never existed. She loved Mai and Mai loved her. Everything was strangely perfect. But right now, all she could think of was possess the other girl entirely, to explore each inch of her body.

Mai began to kiss Chisato on the lips again but not only passionately this time but eagerly too. The shorter °C-ute member understood that Mai’s desire was at its peak, she could not bear anymore teasing.

While Chisato’s left hand were still caressing Mai’s breasts, her other hand moved under her skirt. Mai’s grip on Chisato’s back tightened, her kiss went deeper until she was subjugated by pleasure.

And what should have never happened occurred.

 ----------

**-A few minutes earlier-**

 

“Oh crap! I forgot my cellphone! I go get it!” Airi told to Maimi while running to the other room where Mai and Chisato were.

When she opened the door, she found the two girls kissing, obviously unaware of her presence. Troubled and blushing, Airi closed the door and went back to the other room, forgetting her cellphone for the second time.

“Did you find it?” Maimi asked.

“Well, it’s there but Chisato and Mai-chan are busy kis…hum…cleaning the room. No problem! I’ll get it back tomorrow. I must go back tomorrow morning by the way…” °C-ute ace explained with a slight blush on her face.

“You’re sure you won’t need it?” Maimi asked with a sweet smile and a concerned expression.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure. If I really need a phone, I’ll borrow yours!” Airi answered with a goofy smile.

Taken aback by such boldness, Maimi could do nothing else than smile sweetly to her girlfriend. After all, she was used to Airi strange behavior.

Saki already went back home. Maimi and Airi decided to leave the place too, unaware of what was happening in the other room. A taxi was already waiting for them at the entrance of the building.

 ---------- 

**-The present-**

 

Mai was peacefully resting in Chisato’s arms, sleeping on her chest. The shorter girl was lying on the cold and hard floor but was well decided to stay in that position, too scared to wake up her love if she moved.  
To break the charm of this moment was simply forbidden. Chisato knew she might have made a mistake tonight but right now she was simply happy and never felt so blessed in her life. She could die right now, she wouldn’t have any regret.

Chisato was breathing Mai’s perfume. At peace, she couldn’t help but kiss her hair gently. She whispered softly:

“I love you so much Mai-chan…since the very first day. I would never have thought such a dream might come true. I will do anything for you…You can’t imagine…How could you imagine how much I loved you all these years…Each day, it was killing me inside. I’m so glad…it’s over now…I love you…I love you…”

“I love you too Chisaa…” mumbled Mai in her sleep.

Utterly surprised, Chisato looked Mai peaceful sleeping face. A small smile was on her lips. The shorter girl couldn’t suppress the big grin on her face and held her lover tightly. Moved to tears, she simply uttered before falling asleep:

“Thank you”

 

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	2. The aftermath

Airi was back in the building to take back her phone and take care of some administrative papers. It was Sunday morning and she was determined to finish her task quickly to go back at home where Maimi was waiting for her girlfriend’s return while watching some movies.  
She went to the room where they celebrated Mai’s birthday last night to take back her phone. What she saw there stunned her.

The room hadn’t been cleaned at all and the floor was strewn with broken glass. She wondered if a fight happened there. She then saw Chisato slumped on the table. Airi couldn’t see her face but she could hear her sobs. She saw the blood on her friend’s hands and the creased paper resting near her.

Airi ran toward her in a state of panic.

“Chisato?! Oh my god! Are you alright? What happened here?”

Ashamed, the shorter girl turned her back to her friend and tried to wipe away her tears, without much success. Her eyes were puffed and her hair were in a total mess. Right now, she couldn’t possibly convince anyone that she was fine.

“Chissaa, look at me! What happened? And show me your hands, you need care!” Airi pleaded. She was slightly way over her head.

“I’m fine Airi…I just…I just need time, ok?” Chisato articulated the better she could.

“No, you’re obviously not fine at all and look at me when I’m talking to you!” Airi scolded.

She wondered what happened between Chisato and Mai last night. In her mind, only the younger girl could hurt her friend to that extent and she had to know what was this all about. Chisato finally agreed to turn to her friend. She didn’t have the courage to look her in the eyes, her sight stayed stubbornly on the floor.

“Gosh! What did you do with your hands? You’re bleeding! That’s bad!”

Airi stands up and went to a cupboard to take the first aid kit. She disinfected her friend’s hands with antiseptic. The pain made Chisato growl. She then tried to make a useful bandage, without great success. The shorter °C-ute member looked at her bandaged hands and couldn’t help but laugh at the clumsy girl.

“Airi, what’s this?”

“I tried my best!” °C-ute ace answered with a pout on her face.  
“Instead of making fun of me, tell me what happened last night Chisato.” Airi went back to the main point of their conversation. She didn’t want her friend to use her clumsiness as an excuse to change the topic.

“It’s ok Airi, don’t worry. It’s between Mai-chan and me.” Chisato uttered with a small voice.

“No, it’s not ok. You hurt your hands and you seem ready to collapse. Don’t lie to me please. Do I need to remind you that I have known you for more than ten years?” Airi pleaded while putting her hands on her friend’s shoulders.

“I…I cut my hands while putting the bottle in the trash can. I drank too much last night and became clumsy. Sorry…” Chisato lied the better she could. She was in no mood to talk about what happened with Mai. She was too hurt for that.

“And why are you crying? Just for a few cuts? Why there are broken glasses all over the floor? Why do you look so devastated?”

This time, the shorter girl couldn’t find a good lie. She stayed silent.

“Did you have sex with Mai last night?”

“Airi?! What?! How can you…” Chisato stumbled on her words, shocked by her friend sudden boldness.

“Good! You’re now looking at me! Judging by your reaction, my guess is right.” Airi announced with proud and a goofy smile on her face.

“Wait, no! I mean…”

“I saw you two kissing while I went back here to take my phone. I suppose it didn’t end with just a kiss…”

“Oh crap…”

“And I’m now quite sure it ended badly. That’s why you let rip of your anger by throwing glass bottles on the floor, hurt your hands trying to clean this mess and cried a lot because you’re obviously and logically sad.” Super detective Airi concluded with a satisfied smile.

“Airi, I hate you!” Chisato exclaimed with an annoyed look on her face.

“That doesn’t matter. What Mai told you to hurt you so much?” Airi continued with a big smile on her face. She was too proud her guessing was right.

Chisato didn’t answer to her friend. Admitting her defeat, sighing heavily, she just took the creased piece of paper from the table and handed it to her fellow °C-ute member.

Airi began to read carefully what was written. She recognized Mai writing:

 

_Chisato,_

_I made a terrible mistake last night. I’m so sorry._   
_I thought it was the right move for me but I was wrong._   
_I love you Chissaa, you’re my best friend and it should have stayed that way._   
_What we did last night was a big mistake and it is all my fault. You didn’t want it at first and I should have listened to you._   
_I never listen to you although you’re often right…I think I’m still not an adult after all. Still stubborn, I act like a spoiled brat…_   
_My thoughts are in a real mess right now and I need to think about all of this._   
_I’m not quite sure I could look at you in the eyes in the future, I hurt you so much during these years and I played with your feelings last night. I feel very ashamed for that, sorry._   
_You’re a member of team °C-ute and so I am but not as important as you. If one of us must leave to maintain a good harmony between the members, it has to be me._   
_I’m thinking about all of this right now._   
_I know you’ll want to call me when you read this letter but please don’t. I need time alone to think on myself and what I want to do next._   
_Thank you._

_Mai_

 

“Holy shit! This is bad! I need to call Maimi!” Airi exclaimed after reading the letter.

“No, don’t!” Chisato pleaded while trying to take Airi’s phone from her hands.

“I need to do it Chissaa! Maimi is our leader and she must know when a member wants to leave the group!” Airi cried while managing to keep her phone in hand.

“Oh yes, you’re right! Yajima must know everything that’s happening within this fucking group!” Chisato shouted with indignation.

“Don’t act childish! She’s our leader, it’s her role!”

Chisato didn’t answer to that argument and just stubbornly frowned.  
Airi tried to dial Maimi’s number but remarked her phone ran out of battery.

“Lend me yours Chissa!”

“No!”

“Chisato, please!”

The shorter girl finally gave up to Airi determination. She just stayed there pouting.

“I see you called Mai-chan quite a few times. I think this was not the right thing to do but what’s done is done, no choice I call Maimi…”

\-------

**-Airi’s home-**

 

Maimi was in a middle of an action movie when her phone rang. She saw the name “Chisato” on the mobile device which was next to her on the couch. Intrigued, she picked up her phone:

“Chissaa? What’s up? No hangover?” the tall girl began with a joyful voice.

“It’s not Chissaa, it’s me.” Airi answered with a serious tone.

“My love? You haven’t found your phone yet?” Maimi asked, feeling something was wrong with her girlfriend.

“No, I got it but it ran out of battery…”

“Ah ok…You’re with Chissaa. Say hi to her for me!” Maimi continued on a light tone to try to lift up the tense atmosphere she felt on the other side of the line.

“Yes, I’m with Chisato right now and we‘ve got a big problem. I need your help…”

“Sure! What is it my love?” °C-ute leader answered seriously this time, feeling it was something important.

“It involves Mai-chan…”

“Mai-chan?! What happened? Is she alright?” Maimi stood up when she heard the name of the younger °C-ute member.  
She had stayed quite protective toward the girl she considered her little sister. She couldn’t stand to see her hurt or sad.

Maimi didn’t like Airi unusual serious tone and hoped her bad feeling about this was just her imagination.

 

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thank the readers who read chapter 1 and left kudos. I hope you'll like this second chapter! :)  
> Feedbacks are welcome and appreciated.


	3. The talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone!  
> Here is the new chapter!  
> Thank you for your kudos and don't forget that feedbacks are greatly appreciated! ;)

Maimi was in front of a small house in a middle of a calm and peaceful district of Tokyo. After taking a deep sigh, she finally decided to ring the bell.

The large door frame opened on a familiar figure.

“Maimi-chan! What a pleasure to see you! How are you?”

“I’m fine Hagiwara-san. Thank you for your concern! Is Mai-chan here?”

“Yes, she is in her bedroom. You want to see her?”

“Yes please.”

Maimi followed Mai’s mother across the house. The middle age woman left her in front of the staircase that leaded to the rooms.

“Please go on. I’ll make some tea for you.”

“Thank you Hagiwara-san.”

Maimi began to climb the stairs, her stress growing at each step. She stopped in front of a small door with Mai-chan written on a plate. She knocked.

“Mai-chan, it’s me.” Maimi announced in a soft voice.

“It’s open.” Was the only answer Maimi heard.

The older °C-ute member entered the room and found the younger girl sitting on her bed, watching across the window. She didn’t turn her head to look at her.

“Mai-chan, are you ok?” Maimi began while making her way to the bed.

“So, you already know…It’s really impossible to keep secrets within this band!” Mai noticed in an annoyed tone.

“I’m sorry…Airi found Chisato at the office this morning and she had no choice but to call me. I am °C-ute leader and…”

“No, she called you in the first place because you’re her girlfriend. All of this…it’s between Chisato and me and I’d appreciate that you and Airi stay out of it.”

“Mai-chan, you want to leave °C-ute, so, it’s not only between Chisato and you anymore. It’s our concern too, we’re all member of team °C-ute and…”  
“I haven’t taken my decision yet. I need to think about all of this and I need to be alone for that, so…if you please could leave this room…”

“Ok, I leave you alone if that’s what you want. Just don’t forget that we have rehearsals tomorrow at 10, ok?”

“Yeah, I haven’t forgotten.”

Maimi was not upset about Mai reaction but she wasn’t satisfied with how she handled this case. She couldn’t make the younger girl open to her and she felt useless as a leader right now. As she made her way toward the exit, she heard Mai quiet and pained voice once more.

“Life is really unfair don’t you think? Airi…Airi is °C-ute ace, Hello Pro’s ace and she has you…Me, I’ve got nothing…”

“You know it’s not true Mai-chan. You have your family. You’re very dear to us and to our fans and Chisato loves you more than anything.”

“Unfortunately, Chisato is not you, Maimi, and she never will…” Mai whispered without taking her sight off of the window.

“I’m not perfect Mai-chan. I’m really far from it.” Maimi answered quietly. She cast a last glance at her younger friend and finally left the room.

“You’re perfect for me and that’s well enough…” Mai uttered while resting her head against the window, painful tears rolling on her chins.

Once in the corridor, Maimi rested against the door frame, taping lightly her head against it. Sighing heavily, she wiped tears that began to pour in her eyes. Feeling very bad, she decided to leave the place.  
She needed to talk to Airi. She was sure her girlfriend could help her to plan what to do next. She couldn’t handle this situation alone and she needed help right now. She hated being a leader under these circumstances and she dreamed of going far away but she couldn’t. She couldn’t leave the younger °C-ute member, the one she considered as her little sister, in such sadness.

As she went down the stairs, she met Mai’s mother who was carrying a tea tray.

“You are already leaving Maimi-chan?”

“Oh yes, I’m sorry Hagiwara-san! I was just passing by to see how Mai-chan was going. I have work to do, so, I must leave. Sorry…”

“Oh…ok. You can drop by whenever you want, you’re always welcome Maimi-chan!” Mai’s mother answered with a joyful and reassuring tone.

“Thank you! If you may excuse me…”

With that being said, Maimi bowed and left the house. Once outside, she looked at her clothes. It was Sunday afternoon and she was wearing casual and comfortable clothes: sneakers, a pair of jeans, a pullover and a leather jacket.  
She was glad she chose to dress that way. She could now run her way up to home.

\-------------

**-Airi’s home-**

 

Maimi turned her key in the locket and entered the apartment. She was short of breath, sweating a lot but satisfied by her little marathon. It helped her clear her mind.

“Oh? You’re finally here short cake? I miss you!!!”

Airi put the magazine about art and design she was reading on the coffee table and ran to her girlfriend. She threw herself in Maimi’s arms without hesitation and embraced her in a tight hug. The taller girl was always impressed by the fact that her girlfriend didn’t care about her heavy sweating.

“You ran to go back?” Airi asked, feeling the clothes her girlfriend wore were quite wet.

“Yes, I needed to clear my mind. Sorry for the sweating…” Maimi answered in an embarrassed but soft tone.

Airi answered to her girlfriend by a bright smile like no other. She looked Maimi’s big dark eyes for a few seconds and then lifted her head to kiss her passionately. The taller girl kissed her back with tenderness. She was glad to be at home after this sad and difficult afternoon.

“Don’t mind me girls, do as if I wasn’t here…” Chisato said as she entered the room, not looking at the two girls. She was just out of the bathtub and already in pajamas.

Airi and Maimi immediately pulled back and blushed heavily. Airi hid her face in her girlfriend’s shoulder while Maimi lightly coughed.

“Yes, I haven’t told you yet darling but Chissaa is staying at home tonight…She’ll sleep on the couch.” Airi stated, still a bit embarrassed.

“Yes, I don’t want to sleep in the same bed as yours, it would be gross!” Chisato claimed with a fake shocked expression.

“I don’t want you in my bed neither Chissaa, I don’t share Maimi with anyone else!” Airi answered with a big smile.

“It’s pajamas party tonight Airi, don’t break the mood!” Chisato claimed with a fake annoyed look on her face while slumping on the couch.

“And what do you want to eat during this ‘pajamas party’? Tell me, I’ll order it!” Airi asked still in her girlfriend’s arms.

“No no no! I’m gonna cook for you! I must thank you for letting me stay here tonight and I love to cook, so…” Chisato answered while playing with Maimi’s dogs, trying her best to hide her blushing cheeks.

“Ok, as you want.” Airi nodded, pleased by her friend thoughtfulness.

“I’ll go check what’s inside your fridge and make something good!” Chisato claimed while running to the kitchen.

“Well, I’m gonna go to the bathtub too and get my cutest pajamas then!” Maimi announced, slightly amused by the turn this early evening was taking.

“Sorry short cake, Chisato was very sad and I didn’t want to leave her alone tonight…”

“No problem, I understand and I’m sure you made the right decision my love.” Maimi reassured her girlfriend with a big smile.

“How was it with Mai-chan?”

“Well…she didn’t really talk to me. She wanted to be alone to think about what happened. So, I left her alone and I really wonder if I haven’t made a mistake…” Maimi explained with a regretful voice.

“I’m sure you made the right decision darling. Maybe tomorrow will be a better time to talk to her?” Airi answered with a reassuring smile. She took Maimi’s hands in hers, trying her best to ease her girlfriend’s worries and doubts.

“I love you Airi, you really are my treasure!” Maimi exclaimed while taking her girlfriend with strength in her arms.

“It’s gonna be ok…It’s gonna be ok…” Airi reassured the taller girl by patting her back. After that, Maimi went in the bathtub.

\-------------

When she went out of the bathtub, Maimi found Airi peacefully sleeping on the couch with one of her dogs in her arms while the the two other ones were sleeping on her lap. Finding the scene extremely cute, she couldn’t resist the urge to kiss her girlfriend on the forehead. She did it softly to avoid awaking the little tribe.

A tasty smell was coming from the kitchen. She decided to take a look. For sure Chisato was cooking something good!  
When she entered the kitchen, Maimi found her friend crying while cutting onions.

“Chisaa, are you ok?!” Maimi exclaimed while rushing to the other girl.

“Yes, it’s the onions…” Chisato answered while trying to wipe away her tears.

“Do you need some help?” Maimi asked on a friendly tone.

“No, it’s ok. I’m almost done.” Chisato answered still sniffing.

Maimi stared carefully at her fellow °C-ute member. She seemed so sad and tired. It was a heartbreaking sight and Maimi couldn’t help but asked her honestly if she was crying a moment ago just because of the onions.  
Chisato didn’t answer and looked away, trying her best to hide her shadowy and puffy eyes. C-ute leader couldn’t resist any longer and took the shorter girl in her arms.

“As I told you I’m ok, so, let me finish my cooking…” Chisato pleaded with a firm voice.

“Let me go, YAJIMA!” Chisato cried feeling the other girl tightening her grip.

“No way…” Maimi answered with a soft voice.

“I HATE YOU! Why are you always so clingy?!” Chisato struggled to free from Maimi’s arms but the taller girl was stronger.

“I care for you Chisaa. You’re my friend. I know you’re sad and you don’t need to hide or play an act in front of me.” Maimi continued on the same soft tone.

“If you care for me as you say, give me back my centimeters!” Chisato cried in anger. Tears were now flowing abundantly on her cheeks.

“I’m sorry…You know I would if I could…” Maimi reassured her friend. She was resting her head on top of Chisato’s one.

“Why are you always so perfect?! It’s unfair! I can’t…I can’t compete! I will never be good enough!” Chisato cried, her body shaken by violent sobs.

“You can compete more than what you think Chisaa…”

“I will never be good enough for her…I can’t get her out of my mind! If she leaves the group, if I can’t see her anymore, be friend with her anymore…I don’t know how I could continue to live…I…I love her so much Maimi…what should I do?” Chisato pleaded desperately.

“I don’t know but we’ll find a solution, I promise. We’ll find a solution.” Maimi repeated with insurance while holding her tears the best she could.

The two girls stayed in this position a little longer. Chisato was resting in Maimi’s arms. She was breathing slowly, trying to calm herself and regain her composure. She was not crying anymore, just sniffing. Maimi was still holding her with strength, repeating her on a soft and soothing tone that’s everything is going to be ok and that she’ll do her best to find a solution. Chisato wanted to believe in her leader’s words, at least tonight.

 

**TO BE CONTINUED**


	4. The work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone! Here is the new chapter! Hope you'll enjoy it ;)

Chisato entered the building where she was supposed to have rehearsals with °C-ute members this morning. It was their first day to work on their next tour.  
She hardly slept last night. Huge shadows were under her eyes which remained puffy after all her crying. She decided it was better to wear sunglasses to avoid gossips and rumors.

She left Airi’s house before her friends to arrive early and be sure to not meet too much people. Unfortunately, some were early risers.

“Oy~ Good morning Reina! You’re not late today! Anything’s happening to you?” Chisato instinctively wrinkled when she heard this so well-known musical voice.

“Good morning Sayu…What are you doing here?”

“Oh Reina…You don’t even tell me that it’s a real pleasure to meet me so early in the morning? I’m stunned and disappointed! Are you really my best friend?” Sayumi asked with a false shocked expression.

“Stop calling me Reina just because I wear sunglasses inside buildings! I had a difficult night and…”

“I see…you argued with Mai-Mai again!” Sayumi cut and saw that her assumption was right because Chisato immediately blushed and looked away.

“It’s ok Chissaa-chan, you know Mai-Mai loves you. She can’t live without you. Your tsundere girlfriend will be back at your sides before you know it!” Sayumi reassured her friend while wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

“I’m not so sure this time…By the way, what are you doing here? It’s quite unusual to see you in these corridors…” Chisato answered, managing to change the topic.

“Well…I came to see my beloved Rihoriho~! She’s quite in a pinch with Fuku-chan and Ishida-chan and Oharu and thus, feels depressed. I can’t leave my sidekick this way!” Sayumi told with conviction.

“Oh I see…Life seems kinda hard for her…” Chisato answered with a slice of sarcasm in her tone.

“Well, love triangles are always complicated! You have to manage with the one you want but who doesn’t love you and with the one who loves you but that you don’t want! And here there is a strange girl in addition which seems quite pervert…Ah~ How much I would have loved to be in this situation back when I was in Morning Musume!” Sayumi confessed with excitement.

“Yeah…sounds fun…” Chisato answered, not excited at all.

“You know what Chissaa-chan? Meet me at the restaurant tonight! I’ll be with Eri! We could discuss all of this and try to find a solution for your problem with Mai-Mai. I’ll text you this afternoon to give you the place and the hour!”

“Ok Sayu. Say hi to Riho-chan for me!”

“Sure! Don’t worry Chissaa-chan, it’s gonna be ok!” Sayumi reassured the shorter girl while patting her head. She then leaved as quickly as she popped. *

***

“It’s gonna be ok…it’s gonna be ok…”

She sure heard a lot this sentence these last days. Everybody told it to her to calm her fears, to ease her pain, to soothe her anger. Sure, Chisato wanted to believe in those words but stayed quite sceptic. She really couldn’t see how everything could be back to normal again.

As she thought about this, she saw Mai repeating her steps with Saki a few meters ahead. Airi and Maimi were at the other end of the room doing the same thing. Chisato stopped to drink water. She was tired today and these rehearsals were a real pain thanks to her poor physical condition.

Mai never gave a look in her direction. She stayed concentrated on her steps and only talked with Saki. Maimi and Airi were focused on their task too but cast a glance in her direction from times to times. Chisato could saw on their face that they were worried. Although she wore a mask, her face was a real mess.

She knew she shouldn’t think that way but she felt very ashamed. She knew Mai never loved her, so, why was she shocked? Why did it hurt so much? She should have known better than anybody that having sex with Mai this night was a terrible mistake, that it would lead to nothing except destroying their friendship and the group and yet she had her hopes high, she had wanted to believe in this moment.

She was really a fool.

Because of her stupidity, she was going to lose everything. Why had she been so weak? Why hadn’t she found the strength to say no? Mai was drunk, she knew it was a bad idea and yet she had given up to her own desires. In fact, she was not so much in anger anymore. Now, she felt disappointed to lack will and might.

Chisato knew soon that Mai was her weakness. She could never refuse her anything and she always obeyed her blindly. She was in love with the girl since the very beginning and as her love was unrequited, she felt frustrated permanently. Unconsciously, she hoped that her devotion and her kindness would be rewarded one day. When she came out in 2013, she tried to keep her distances from Mai but the youngest °C-ute member refused her new behaving and was determined to keep their relation as it was: a close friendship.  
So, Chisato stayed at Mai’s sides, unable to move on and feeling like dying inside while Mai felt satisfied because she thought it was the best way to support her best friend who happened to be into girls and who didn’t seem to be so happy about it.

As years passed, Chisato felt more and more depressed, trapped in a dead end situation. A part of her was happy to see Mai every day, to have her by her sides while the other suffered from it and wanted to never see her again to have a chance to move on. Day after day, she struggled with her sadness and her frustration, unable to say no to Mai and to keep her distances with her.

Yet she never thought it could be worse.

She never imagined she could lose Mai and the group she worked so hard for. Right now, she felt like falling from a cliff with no end in sight.

“Chisato? Chisato, can I talk to you?”

The shorter °C-ute member was taken out of her thoughts by a familiar and pragmatic voice.  
Saki was staring intently at her with a worried face.

“Yeah…sure…”

Saki took her friend by the hand and leaded her to an empty office where she was sure their conversation couldn’t be heard.

***

“Chisato, what happened?” Saki asked while removing delicately the mask the shorter girl was wearing.

“I…I…” Chisato lowered her head to hide her face, struggling to find the words to explain the situation to her friend.

“It’s okay Chissaa, show me your face. Even with your mask, it’s quite obvious you’re feeling terribly bad today. What happened? It’s related to Mai-chan, right? ” Saki asked with a sweet voice, her hands resting on Chisato’s shoulders.

“I…I made a terrible mistake…”

“I suppose something happened after Maimi, Airi and I left Mai-chan birthday party. What did you do? You kissed her?”

“Worse…”

“Could you…Could you possibly have…sex…with her?

Chisato didn’t answer to that question. She just stayed her face low, her eyes now closed and her fists clenched at her sides.

“Oh crap…I knew it was a bad idea to make a bet with Mai-chan and to leave you two alone while she was drunk…”

“It’s not your fault Nacky…It’s mine…I was weak and I hurt her…”

“Did she agree to this? I mean…with you?”

“She said so but she drank so much this night…how can be sure?”

“I know it’s hard, I know you’re feeling bad and guilty right now but you must talk to her Chisato! Our next tour is a real challenge and the tension between you two are sinking the mood and making these rehearsals more difficult for all of us…”

“I know Nacky and I’m sorry about all of this but Mai-chan…Mai-chan doesn’t want to talk to me anymore…”

Bitter tears were now pouring from Chisato’s eyes. Nacky felt very annoyed right now. One of her best friend was suffering and her group was going through a rough time because of a rookie mistake.

“I’m going to talk to Mai-chan…” Saki began on a determined tone.

“Yaji already tried yesterday and got rejected…”

“But we have to do something! You can’t stay like this and the group can’t continue this way! We can’t work properly in such a tensed and heavy atmosphere…”

“Nacky, you have to know that Mai-chan thinks about…leaving °C-ute…” Chisato confessed slowly, her face totally blank.

“It’s out of the question! We already lost too much members! °C-ute is us 5 and nothing else! I know the situation is awkward between you two but you have to behave like adults! She wanted it that night, you wanted it too and it happened. She doesn’t want to go further with you anymore, fine! You have to accept it Chissaa even if it’s very painful. I know you might not be able to be friend with Mai-chan like before but please, you two have to make efforts to get along well…for the group…After all we went through, it can’t end like this!”

Saki was looking at Chisato with a mix of determination and anger on her face. The shortest °C-ute member felt all the natural authority of their sub-leader. She knew she was right but damn…how was she supposed to talk to Mai again? How was she supposed to deal with her feelings, her pain?

“I’ll…I’ll do my best to settle the situation Nacky…” Chisato promised on a resigned tone.

“You’ve known Mai-chan for nearly fifteen years Chissaa. I’m sure she won’t reject you and she’ll listen to you. You just have to be firmed and persist.”

“You must be right…”

“Don’t worry Chissaa, it’s gonna be ok!”

Saki patted her friend’s shoulders and left the room while managing to put the best reassuring smile she could on her face. Chisato stayed there, lost and sad.

“No…it’s not gonna be ok…not at all!” She thought.

She wanted more than anything to leave this building, to go far away, in a place nobody would know her and where she could be as much desperate as she wanted, where she could cry without restraint, until her eyes would be dried.

But she still had two more hours of rehearsals and not the guts to run away.

As usual, she was lacking will.

She finally resigned to go back to the room where the other members were repeating their dance steps. She put on her mask and let escape a heavy sight.

“What a shitty day…” She thought.

 

**TO BE CONTINUED**

 

* If you’re curious and want to read the conversation between Sayumi and Riho, go take a look at my other fanfic, Unrequited, which is about our favorite Morning Musume ace and her dance partner, Ayumi! ;)


	5. Happy hours?

Chisato was waiting in front of the restaurant.

Sayumi and Eri were late, as always when the older girl was there. Chisato was getting impatient as she was not in a mood to eat in a crowded place and talk about her problems. All she wanted right now was to bury herself in her bed, cry and feel desperate.  
The two girls finally made their way to her.

“Sorry for the wait! It’s Eri’s fault, she took the bad subway and was late to our rendezvous!” Sayumi stated petulantly.

“I’m sorry.” Eri said with an apologetic smile. She then put her head on her lover’s shoulder and managed to make the cutest smile. Sayumi couldn’t help but blush and smile lovingly at her. Indeed, she was weak with her cute turtle.

“It’s ok girls. I’ve just waited for 5 minutes. Let’s enter! Did you book a table Sayu?” Chisato asked on a reassuring tone.

“Yes, of course! And it’s my treat tonight, so, feel free to eat and drink as much as you want Chisaa!” Sayumi answered with enthusiasm.

“Thanks Sayu!”

“I’m relieved because I forgot my wallet!” Eri confessed with a goofy smile.

“Why am I not surprised about this?” Sayumi asked while doing a face palm.

“Well…at least, some things never change!” Chisato stated jokingly while patting Sayumi’s shoulder.

 

***

 

Morning Musume ex-leader got a table in a far and discreet corner, so, they could talk of everything without fears to be heard. Unfortunately, Chisato stubbornly kept her mask and sunglasses inside the restaurant, to Sayumi’s much surprised.

“It really feels like talking to Reina…” She noticed quite amused.

After sighting annoyingly, Chisato took off her mask and then her sunglasses. Sayumi and Eri couldn’t hide the mix of surprise and panic on their face.

“Yes, I know, my face is a complete mess. I don’t wear a mask and my sunglasses for nothing you know?” Chisato established on an irritated tone while looking at her feet.

“No, no! I mean…at least, we’re now sure that you’re in serious troubles…” Sayumi tried to reassure the shorter °C-ute member without much success.

“I think, you emphasized too much on it Sayu…” Eri quietly said to her partner.

“Maybe but we’re here for you Chisaa-chan, so, let’s not beat around the bush any longer and tell us what happened between you and Mai-Mai!” Sayumi asked with passion, totally pumped up now.

Quite taken aback by Sayu’s enthusiasm, Chisato felt at first embarrassed and didn’t know what to answer, how to confess what she did with Mai this fateful night. Fortunately, Sayu was looking kindly and patiently at her while Eri was skimming through the menu to not put additional pressure on her. Finally, Chisato found courage and began in a weak voice:

“It’s my fault…That night…I…I kissed Mai and…”

“You kissed her on stage?” Sayumi asked out of curiosity.

“No…we’re not on a tour right now…”

“Ah yeah, you’re right. When I saw you this morning, you were going to rehearsals…” Sayumi remembered apologetically.

“It’s not a common hobby to kiss girls on stage you know Sayu?” Eri stated on an indignant tone.

“You’re just jealous because I never kissed you on stage Eririn ~” Sayumi answered on an amused tone, quite proud of her repartee.

“You kissed so many girls on stage, it means nothing!” Eri retorted with a pout.

“But it was always fun~! The better was with Rihoriho~, she was so embarrassed! It was cute! She was panicked backstage after it and she even scolded me, how sweet!” Sayumi confessed with enthusiasm and pride.

  
“I…I had sex with Mai-chan…”

As soon as Chisato dropped the bomb, Sayumi froze, her eyes widening in shock and her cellphone dropping from her hand while Eri looked at her incredulously with an open mouth.

“You…had…sex…with…Mai-Mai…” Sayumi repeated in a desperate attempt to make her brain function properly again. She was totally stunned and didn’t care about her phone fallen on the floor.

“How did this happened Chisato-chan?” Eri asked in a panicked tone, recovering her sanity faster than her girlfriend.

“Well…after her birthday party, we were alone together and Mai was drunk. She began to seduce me but I…I resisted. I was tired but almost sober and I knew it was a bad idea…but she was so stubborn and I finally gave up…It’s my fault…I totally messed up...” Chisato confessed sad and angry at herself.

“Crap…I think we really need something strong!” Sayu announced with conviction.

Morning Musume ex-leader ordered right away a huge bottle of Sake and beers. The night was just beginning.

 

\-----------

 

**-2 hours later-**

 

  
The three girls were totally drunk.  
Sayumi was slumping on the table, Eri was playing foolishly with her glass of beer and Chisato was cursing again and again Maimi, Mai, herself and well…the whole situation.

“That Yajima…Why has she always been so perfect?! Tall, beautiful, good at sports, nice and good leader although she is an airhead! No surprise she’s so popular with girls! Things shouldn’t be that way, it’s unfair!” Chisato pleaded with a mix of conviction and indignation.

“Sure Yaji is attractive…” Sayumi confessed with a weak voice. She was nearly sick.

“And I’m not attractive?! Why?! Because I’m short?! That’s disgusting!” Chisato continued, totally fired up.

“It’s not the same and it’s not a matter of size…Yaji knows how to seduce a girl…She knows how to behave to be attractive…” Sayumi answered, choosing carefully her words.

“Ah really?! You think I can’t seduce a girl Sayu?!”Chisato asked on a defiant tone.

“No need to ask, I’m sure you can’t. You’re more the friendly type Chisaa and it’s not that bad but it’s clearly not the type that attracts girls…”

“Why?!”

“Because you behave with women like a teenage boy craving for attention!” Sayumi admitted, slightly losing patience.

“I don’t behave like this!” Chisato refuted. She was shocked and outraged by the turn the conversation was taking.

“You do! And I’m sorry if you’re not pleased with it but it’s the truth!”

Sayumi seemed now quite angry at Chisato. She was tired of the shorter girl who always put the blame on others and was quite blind about herself.   
Eri was looking intently at her with concern eyes. She clearly didn’t like the change of mood and was quite worried by her girlfriend sudden anger. To see Sayumi angry was rare, very rare and she wondered what caused it. Was it alcohol? Sure they drank a lot but still…

“So, I’ll never find someone that’ll love me…” Chisato concluded with a painful voice.

“You don’t need to find someone since you already have a person you love.” Sayumi established on a calmer and sweeter tone this time.

“But she doesn’t love me…” Chisato answered on a frustrated tone. Her eyes were teary now.

“She does love you. As a friend for now but it can change. It’s up to you to make it change Chisaa…” Sayumi announced with a soft yet firm voice.

“How…How can I do that?” The shorter girl asked, totally lost.

“You only need to seduce her and for that, you must behave differently.”

“I don’t know…I never did this kind of things and she’s still in love with Yajima, I’m sure of it!”

“Cut it off with Maimi! What matters is you and what you want. You want to love Mai-Mai and to be loved by her, right? You have no other solution than seduce her and make her forget her first love. I can help you if you want.” Sayumi suggested seriously.

“I’m not sure I can do it…And will it work?”

“You’ll never know if you don’t try and it couldn’t make the situation worse…Right now, there’s a chance that Mai-Mai leaves °C-ute but there’s also a chance that she stays and you become friends again and even more…”

“Maybe you’re right…”

“You have a chance to find happiness Chisaa…Please, don’t let it go…Grab it! And Sayumi will show you her ultimate tactic to seduce girls~! It worked perfectly well with Rihoriho~!”

“Enough with this, lolicon!” Eri teased, pointing fingers on her girlfriend. Her strange antics still amused her after all this time.

“I’m not a lolicon!” Sayumi answered on an indignant tone while disappearing quickly to the restroom. She turned quite green during the conversation with Chisato and she was sure to kiss the porcelain god right now.

“Sayu is always sick when she drank alcohol and she is less…patient…I’m sorry Chisaa.” Eri began on an embarrassing tone.

“No, it’s ok. You were nice enough to help me clear my mind tonight and I know I can be a real pain in the ass…” Chisato confessed shyly while looking at her empty glass.

“Don’t worry about that…We all face difficult things in life and we all react differently.” Eri reassured the girl with her usual soft voice and her shy yet sweet smile.

“I’m really not sure about all of this…”

“It’s gonna be ok…”

“Everybody told me this since yesterday and things are only getting worse!”

“No, it’ll get better, trust me. Not necessarily in the way you would have wanted it but I’ll get better.”

Although her mind was still cloudy by alcohol, Chisato could clearly see the conviction on Eri’s face and her calm and mature sight. She was always impressed by the contrast this girl offered. While being a complete clumsy airhead, she was in the meantime incredibly wise and intelligent. She decided to trust her and to believe in her words, at least tonight.

 

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Since Unrequited is a spin-off of 20, I had to move forward on this one before updating 20 to avoid spoilers for readers who read the 2 fanfics. Thanks for your understanding and kudos! ^___^


	6. The past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Here is chapter 6, enjoy! ;)

Mai received a strange mail today. It was her senpai, Michishige Sayumi, who sent it to her, which was quite unusual. She invited her to have a drink after work. The youngest °C-ute member responded positively at her invitation but felt that something was off.

She was not stupid.

Sayumi might already know what happened between her and Chisato and might want them to make up in order to save the group she loved so much.   
Since Mai liked Morning Musume ex-leader, she would usually be glad to see her but today, due to circumstances, it bothered her. In fact, she was not in a hurry to see the day end.

 

***

 

Mai finally left the building where °C-ute had rehearsals all day. It was the same as yesterday. She repeated her dance steps with Saki while Airi and Maimi stayed together most of the time. Chisato was alone, lost in her thoughts. She seemed to think hard about something and Mai had the feeling that she was planning something.   
Still, the two girls didn’t talk and barely looked at each other. The atmosphere was very quiet in the locker room, which was quite unusual for °C-ute but this change of mood was becoming usual, thanks to these strange last days.

Mai didn’t know what to do concerning her situation and what happened with Chisato. She hadn’t taken her decision yet. She knew there was a chance the group collapse if she left but she really wondered if they could continue like that for long. Everybody was feeling uneased and the atmosphere was quite depressing in the locker room. Sure, they didn’t have any obligation to see each other off work but fans would quickly notice that something changed between the girls and might even gossip about them.

Mai came to the conclusion that she really made a mistake at her birthday party and that it was time to correct it but she hadn’t the slightest idea of what to do. Maybe talking to someone outside the group could give her some answers. She wanted to think that way while meeting Sayumi at a café.

 

***

 

When Mai saw her senpai in front of the café, she waved at her discreetly. The Rokky member saw her right away and answered with a sweet smile. After complimenting each other on their outfits and how they were pretty today, the two girls entered to have a drink.

Sayumi ordered a green tea while Mai chose a hot chocolate.

“How childish and cute!” Sayu thought with an amused smile.

“So…what’s up Michishige-san? Is everything alright? And how is Kamei-san?” Mai asked quickly, struggling to hide her nervousness.

“Oh…You know my life is quite peaceful now and Eri is in great shape and happy, so, everything’s perfect! And you, are you fine lately Mai-chan?” The older girl asked, well decided to not beat around the bush for too long.

“I’m ok…It’s quite tensed in the group these days but you know how it works, it’ll get better in no time!” The youngest °C-ute member lied the best she could while managing to put a false reassuring smile on her face.

“Yesterday morning, I went to your building to see Ishida-chan who feels very depressed lately…” Sayumi began on a serious tone.

“Yeah, it’s true that we and Morning Musume 16 have rehearsals in the same place since february. We all noticed that Ishida-chan was not feeling well since Riho-chan…”

“Yeah and I saw Rihoriho too!” Sayu rebounded on a more joyful tone.

“Oh, she was there?! Too bad she didn’t come to see us!” Mai stated with disappointment.

“She had a few remaining papers to sign and she is quite busy with school so, she didn’t have much time but I’m sure she’ll stop by your locker room next time!” Riho’s favorite senpai answered on a reassuring tone.

“I’m sure she’ll have her diploma, she is clever and a hard worker too!” Mai stated with conviction.

“In fact…the first person I met when I got there was Chisato…” Sayumi confessed on a quieter tone. She seemed upset right now.

“Oh…” Was all the youngest °C-ute member could articulate. She was now looking at her cup, feeling they went out on a limb.

“I’ve known Chisato and °C-ute for quite some time now but I’ve never seen her in such a state. She was so tired, so sad…she seemed desperate. I immediately invited her to dine with me at the evening. It didn’t take her long to spill the beans…”

“So…you know everything that happened between me and her, right?” Mai concluded mechanically. She was now very pale.

“Yes.” Sayu simply answered while looking, in turn, at her tea cup.

“So, what do you want from me Michishige-san? I suppose you didn’t invite me just to drink some tea and chit-chat on the weather…” Mai asked frankly, now clearly on the defensive.

“I want nothing Mai-chan. I just want you to know that you don’t have to blame yourself for what you did at your birthday party. You were drunk and…” Sayumi began on a comprehensive tone.

“It’s not an excuse!” The younger girl protested.

“You’re still young Mai-chan and you wanted to try something. We all made mistakes you know…” The senpai continued patiently.

“I am an adult now and I had to behave like an adult during that night but I messed up, like always!” Mai confessed angrily. She couldn’t forgive herself for what she did that night.

“Mai-chan…” Sayu whispered, showing a sorry face.

“I hurt her! I deeply hurt her, again! You know, I think I’m not a good person!”

“You’re wrong Mai chan! If you were a bad person, Chisato would not love you so much…” Sayumi protested, unable to find a way to ease her kouhai who seemed so sad right now.

“Chisato is stupid! She stubbornly loves me although I’m not the right person for her!” The younger girl concluded on a frustrated tone.

“We don’t have control over our feelings and you know it Mai-chan…”

“If I had stayed the same as when I was a little girl, everything would be so simple…” Mai stated. She was very pale.

“What do you mean?” Sayu asked, very intrigued now.

“When I was a little girl, Chissaa was my prince charming! I was in love with her and I wanted to get married with her as soon as I am an adult.” The younger girl confessed with a soft and nostalgic smile.

“How sweet!” Sayumi exclaimed enthusiastically.

“But as I became a teenager, I grew fond of Yaji. She was perfect and totally to my taste while Chissaa stayed short and childish…”

“But Chisato always had huge responsibilities and duties till then, with her family and…”

“Yeah but I didn’t know at the time.”

“Did Maimi-chan know you were in love with her?”

“Yes, I confessed to her and she kindly rejected me. She was already going out with Airi…” Mai stated with a frown. She was still offended to have been turned down.

Sayumi found her reaction cute.

“Well…it’s quite difficult to stand out in front of Suzuki-chan!” The Rokky member shrugged, embarrassed.

“Airi is really strange but she is beautiful and so talented… and she always had the best relation with Yaji!”

“It was quite logical they confessed to each other. In fact, they were bound to be together…And Chisato, did she confess to you?”

“Yes when we were teenagers and I turned her down.”

“How did she react?” Sayu asked while sipping her tea. She was doing her best to hide the wrinkle of her brow. She really didn’t like entangled situation.

“Well…It’s Chisato! She started laughing, telling me that she didn’t really mean it, that it was just a joke etc.”

“Basically, she tried to hide the fact that she felt hurt and sad.” Sayumi concluded with a bitter smile. She seemed lost in her thoughts now.

“I suppose. It’s always hard to say what’s on her mind except when she is depressed. She’s so annoying and demotivated that you can be sure she feels down!”

“Chisato bears the burden of a lot of things, alone. It’s quite understandable she cracks up from time to time…” The older girl explained with a knowing smile.

“Yes and I’m part of the problem. I know it. When she came out in 2013, she said she was still in love with me. As I turned her down again, she tried to put some distance between us but I refused. I wanted to stay good friend with her. She is my best friend after all…”

“Sure but you hurt her acting that way Mai-chan...You prevent her from moving on…” Sayu stated on a soft and gentle tone.

“I know I’m selfish and now my mistakes will eventually destroy the group…” Mai confessed with a sad smile, doing her best to hold back her tears.

“You don’t want °C-ute to end after all you went through together and you know what to do in order to prevent that from happening...” Sayumi established with a knowing smile.

“The problem in fact is that I don’t know what to do…” Mai answered, totally lost.

“To put it frankly, you have two options:   
You go out with Chisato or   
You do your best to stay friend with her.   
If you choose the second option, you’ll have to apologize for what you’ve done to her and pray that she forgives you.” Sayu explained with an unusual serious face.

“I’m not sure she can forgive me this time…”

“You’ve known each other for more than ten years, I’m sure she can forgive you about this but you have to understand that she needs time alone too. To help her move on, you have to put some distance…” Sayumi advised on a still soft but firmer tone this time.

“But I don’t want it!” The younger girl cut off her senpai with conviction.

“Why is that? You’re an adult now and she is not your only friend…” The rokky member established calmly, surprised by the turn the conversation was taking.

“But I…I feel lonely when she is not by my side...I’ve always done everything with her!” Mai pleaded with a small voice. She seemed upset and quite panicked by her senpai’s idea.

“Well…maybe it’s time to emancipate!” Sayumi suggested cheerfully.

“I…I Can’t…”

“Why?”

“It would be unnatural for me…Chissaa is like a part of me, I simply can’t!”

“Mai-chan…Do you happen to?” Sayu asked on a soft tone.

“No!” Mai exclaimed, shocked.

“Mai-chan, I think it’s time to be true to your feelings…” The senpai pleaded with concern in her voice.

“Well…To be honest I love to hug Chisato and I love when she hugs me. I’m quite fond of her kiss too…” The younger °C-ute member began honestly. She was utterly embarrassed and quite red.

“Mai-chan…”

“…But she’s just my best friend!” The girl concluded with conviction, trying her best to convince her senpai and herself.

“I think the best thing to do right now is to ask Chisato to go out with you.” Sayumi suggested frankly while looking her kouhai in the eyes.

“What?! But it could make things worse!” Mai rejected the idea vigorously.

“You seem to have more than friendly feelings toward Chisato and you’ll only find what your true feelings are if you go out with her…”

“But…but if it doesn’t work between us, if I break up with her, I’ll end up hurting her again!”

“Sure! But, at least, you’ll be sure of your feelings toward her. And maybe she’ll end up being the one to break up with you, who knows?” Sayu argued with a sarcastic smile.

“I don’t know…I’m not really sure about this…” Mai confessed, totally lost now.

“You can’t let your relation with Chisato getting worse and ruining °C-ute, Mai-chan. I think it’s time to take a decision.” Sayumi advised softly with a reassuring smile.

“Maybe you’re right…I’m an adult now and I must take decisions.” The younger girl nodded, thinking carefully about her senpai suggestion.

“And if it doesn’t work between you two, at least, you’ll know that you’re not meant to be together and you could stay friend without having any regret.” Sayumi concluded logically.

“Yes, you’re right! OK! Now I must find the courage to ask her out!” Mai announced while clasping her hands. She seemed cheerful and relieved.

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll somehow help you!” her senpai answered with a big smile and a wink.

  
**TO BE CONTINUED**

 


	7. The date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait dear reader, here is a new chapter!  
> I hope you'll enjoy it. As always, feedbacks are appreciated!

It was a cold morning.  
  
Chisato entered hurriedly in °C-ute’s locker room. She was doing her best to look good. They had rehearsals again today. Airi and Maimi were already there, drinking tea, and Saki was lacing her sneakers.  
  
As soon as Airi saw Chisato, she chocked violently on her tea. Maimi, startled at first, quickly came back to her senses and slapped gently her girlfriend’s back. She then served her another tea.  
  
“That’s the spirit!” Saki said to Chisato with a big smile while putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. The older girl then sat on a chair not far from there and began to comb her hair.  
  
“You’re very…classy today Chissaa…” Maimi began awkwardly.  
  
“Well…I have a date tonight.” The well-dressed girl answered matter-of-factly.  
  
“Oh…Who’s the lucky one?” °C-ute leader continued. She was indeed curious about her friend strange behavior.  
  
“Mai-chan.”  
  
“You made it up with her?! That’s great!” Maimi exclaimed with a huge grin on the face.  
  
“Not exactly…” The short girl answered and looked down. She seemed embarrassed.  
  
“But you said you have a date with her tonight…” Maimi frowned.  
  
“Well…she doesn’t know yet that she has a date with me tonight but I’m sure she’ll somehow feel lucky…” Chisato shrugged with a shy smile. To act with confidence was definitely not in her nature.  
  
As soon as the girl’s explanation came to Airi’s ears, she choked on her tea, again.  Maimi instantly patted her back with a sorry smile on the face.  
  
“Chisato, are you sure it’s a good idea?” Saki asked frankly with her usual pragmatism.  
  
“I…I don’t know…I follow Michishige-san’s advices and I…I decided to try anything!” °C-ute shorter member answered shyly.  
  
“I do hope it won’t end in a drama again this time, that’s all…” Saki retorted, already annoyed by the difficult situation her friend put herself in.  
  
“I’m sure everything’s gonna be ok! You know what we say Nakki, ‘fortune favors the brave’” °C-ute leader said with a reassuring smile.  
  
“Unfortunately we say ‘forewarned is forearmed’ too!” °C-ute sub-leader retorted with conviction.  
  
“Yes and we say ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained’ and ‘Love laughs at locksmiths’” °C-ute ace added with a grin and sleepy eyes.  
  
“Girls…enough with proverbs please…” Chisato pleaded on a quite exasperated tone.  
  
“But I love proverbs battle!” Airi wheezed, frustrated.  
  
“Yes I know and that’s why I’m saying that!” The tiny girl retorted with a smirk.  
  
“You’re mean Chissaa!” Airi whined while wrapping her arms around Maimi’s neck and hugging her tightly. She rested her head on her girlfriend shoulder to hide it from Chisato. She was clearly pouting now. Maimi smiled apologetically while ruffling her Airi’s hair.  
  
“Good morning everyone!” A high pinch voice announced while entering the room.  
  
Mai looked at everyone and then looked at Chisato, blinked, and looked at her again. The tiny girl stared at her in awe. Mai was beautifully dressed. In fact, she was well-dressed everyday but today, she was more classy and feminine.  
  
“Wow, you’re really pretty today Mai-chan!” Maimi exclaimed with Airi still in her arms.  
  
“Ah…yes…I have a date tonight…” The younger girl answered with looking at her feet and blushing.  
  
“Oh…with who?” °C-ute leader asked but instantly regretted what she just said.  
  
“It’s a secret.” Mai retorted while looking away to hide her blushing cheeks.  
  
“Does the person knows he or she has a date with you tonight or is it a surprise?” Airi asked shrewdly.  
  
“No, she doesn’t know yet…I do hope she won’t reject me!” Mai confessed while looking at Chisato with a shy and pleading gaze.  
  
“I’m sure she will not reject you Mai-chan, don’t worry.” Chisato said with a sweet and reassuring smile.  
  
“That’s what I call a bold move!” Saki exclaimed enthusiastically while still combing her hair.  
  
“I…I just follow Michishige-san’s advices…I saw her yesterday…” Mai confessed shyly.  
  
Maimi, Airi and Saki nodded at the same time and then chuckled while looking at the two so perfectly dressed and classy girls.  
  
The day promised to be fun. 

  
***

  
Rehearsals were finally over.  
  
The girls were tired and totally soaked for some of them. Maimi was laid down, peacefully resting on Airi’s lap while Saki was packing her things to go back home. The two lovebirds were planning to go to the restaurant this evening.  
  
Mai was already in the shower. Chisato, still in the dance room, was breathing slowly to calm down. She kept on repeating all day what she planned to say to the one she loved.  
  
It was finally time.  
  
The short girl went to the locker room to find Mai dressing up. She gulped but didn’t back down. After taking a last deep breath, she finally proposed with clenched fists:  
  
“Mai-chan, would you…would you go out with me tonight!”  
  
“Is it…is it a date?” The younger girl asked out of curiosity.  
  
“Yeah…yes!” Chisato retorted with conviction while looking the girl in the eyes.  
  
“Hum…I don’t know…” Mai teased. She was highly amused by her best friend’s awkward efforts.  
  
“Please…” Chisato pleaded on a soft tone.  
  
“Ok but let me dress accordingly.” The younger girl asked with a sweet smile.  
  
“Ah…yes…of course!” Chisato stuttered and blushed when she noticed that Mai was still in underwear. She quickly looked away to hide her flustering.    
  
“It’s ok.” Mai reassured while taking her friend’s face in her hands and looking her in the eyes. She then planted a quick and yet soft kiss on her nose.  
  
“Mai-chan! What…what are you doing?!” Chisato exclaimed, shocked and totally red.  
  
“Nothing~, just enjoying the moment~!” The younger girl answered happily with a smirk. She then got back to what she was initially doing: to get dressed.  
  
Chisato stayed standing there with a heart pounding madly in her chest and a crimson face. She decided to go take her shower. A cold one would be the best way to calm down. 

  
***

  
**-A Korean restaurant in Tokyo-**  
  


The two best friends went to restaurant not far from the place where they were rehearsing.  
Mai was, as always, the chatty type. She talked about various things while Chisato was strangely quiet. Usually, the older girl liked to tease the younger one but not this time. Chisato seemed tensed and embarrassed. She even strived to stay focus on what Mai was talking about.  
  
After all, it was her first date with the one she had loved for more than ten years and she was putting too much pressure on her shoulders. It was literally crushing her.  
  
“Chissaa, are you ok?” Mai asked while sitting at a table, inside the restaurant.  
  
“Yeah, sure!” The older girl babbled.  
  
“Chisato...” The younger one whispered with concern.  
  
Chisato lowered her sight to her hands resting around her glass of tea. She was worrying her best friend and it saddened her.  
  
“Don’t be so tensed Chissaa! We’ve been together for more than ten years, we’ve always been together and…” Mai began on a pragmatic tone.  
  
“But it’s our first date!” Chisato exclaimed on a quite panicked tone. She seemed vulnerable right now.  
  
“Yes and we’re in a good restaurant, you’re very classy and pretty tonight and so I am. And it’s not like we didn’t know each other. I’m sure everything’s gonna be ok…” Mai pleaded confidently on a reassuring tone.  
  
“But our relation will never be the same after…after what we’ve done…that night…at your birthday party…” Chisato stated still panicked. Her voice was barely a whisper now.  
  
“Sure our relation is not the same anymore but it could be for the better, don’t you think so?” The younger girl answered with a sweet smile.  
  
“After…after what I’ve done…to you?!” Chisato exclaimed, totally shocked.  
  
“Don’t forget that I wanted it too and I regret nothing! Maybe our relation was destined to evolve that way? Anyway, I want to give it a try! Would you give me a chance?” Mai pleaded on a soft tone.  
  
“Mai-chan…” Chisato uttered. She was totally stunned and believed she was dreaming.  
  
“I’m sorry to have been childish and selfish with you all these years, to have made you suffered…Please, give me a chance Chissaa…” Mai begged while looking sincerely the girl in the eyes.  
  
“Mai-chan…you know how I feel about you…I…I can’t say no to you. This may seem pitiful but I think I…I’ll love you for the rest of my life…” The short girl confessed in a sorrow. Her tone was sincere and yet so sad.  
  
“We’ll go step by step, ok?” Mai announced on a soft tone, with a bright and reassuring smile.  
  
“Ok…” Chisato nodded while wiping away the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.  
  
Mai took her °C-ute comrade, best friend, and now lover, in her arms and hugged her tightly.  She gently stroked her hair while saying soothing words.    
  
Their story was just beginning. Their path seemed still long but indeed promising.  
  
A sweet smile made its way on her lips.  
  
  
**TO BE CONTINUED**


	8. The future

**-During one of Hello Project’s concert in Tokyo for the Summer Tour 2016-**  
  
  
A small frame entered °C-ute locker room.  
  
She was looking for someone and seemed rather depressed. The only person in the room was Chisato who was laid on a couch, comfortably wrapped up in a blanket. Fortunately, she was not sleeping yet and willed to help.  
  
“I’m sorry to bother you Okai-san but is…is Suzuki-san there?”  The girl asked with a faint voice. She was very pale.  
  
“Airi? No, she’s not here. She’s getting busy with Yaji somewhere…well…as always!” Chisato answered with an apologetic smile.  
  
“Ok…Thank you. I’m sorry to have disturbed you Okai-san. If you may excuse me…” The short girl said while slightly bending. She then hurriedly turned around to leave the place.  
  
“Wait! Wait Ishida-san, you don’t disturb me at all!” Chisato exclaimed while sitting.  
  
“I thought you might want to sleep…” Ayumi explained while turning around again, but toward her senpai this time.  
  
“It’s ok! Sure I’m quite tired but since you’re here, we could talk, don’t you think? This way, you didn’t come for nothing…” The °C-ute member suggested quite awkwardly and with an embarrassing smile.  
  
“Sure!” Ayumi answered with a blank, expressionless face.  
  
“So, why are you so sad?” Chisato asked frankly while looking her kouhai in the eyes.  
  
“I’m not sad. I’m just…tired…” The Morning Musume member lied the best she could while staring at her feet, unable to look at her senpai in the eyes.  
  
“Ishida-chan…you should really look at yourself in a mirror!” Chisato shrugged.  
  
“I’m just tired…” Ayumi continued, stubbornly.  
  
“We’re all tired here, you know, but we don’t put on such a sad face! You miss her, right?”  
  
Ayumi looked at her senpai with a shocked expression this time. She was stunned and didn’t know what to answer to the older girl’s perspicacity.  
  
“Don’t look at me like that. Everybody knows how you care for her…how much you love her…I’m sorry to be so frank but I must be on stage in fifteen minutes and I have no time to beat around the bush…” °C-ute shorter member announced with a sweet and apologetic smile.  
  
“Well…yes, you’re right…I do miss her.” Ayumi confessed with a faint voice and watery eyes.  
  
“If I’m right, she’s been away for four months now. Are you not used to be on stage without her, to dance without her?” Chisato asked to her kouhai with a soft voice.  
  
“No and I…I miss…everything about her…each day…each day it’s killing me and…I don’t know what to do anymore…” The Juuky explained while fighting hard to hold back her tears. Sobs could be heard in her voice.  
  
“But you know she’ll come back. She promised you to come back. All you have to do is wait and work hard to make her proud of you as much as you’re proud of her....” Chisato suggested on a reassuring tone.  
  
“But I…I’m not so sure anymore that she’ll come back!”Ayumi cried out, tears rolling down freely on her cheeks.  
  
“Why won’t she come back? She’s still under contract with Hello Project…” The older girl retorted, surprised.  
  
“She seems to have so much fun in America and I…I have the feeling that she moved on now from Hello Project…”  
  
“But she promised to come back and I’m sure we can trust Riho-chan!” Chisato pleaded honestly.  
  
“I don’t know…I don’t know anymore…” Ayumi confessed while bursting into tears.  
  
Chisato stood up and took the younger girl in her arms.  
  
“It’s gonna be ok…it’s gonna be ok…” The °C-ute member repeated on a soothing tone while patting gently Ayumi’s hair.  
  
“Don’t repeat me that! It’s not gonna be ok! I’m not ok!” The Juuky shouted angrily while sobbing in her senpai’s arms.  
  
“Ishida-chan, listen to me. Even if Riho-chan doesn’t come back, you can still meet her in America. Don’t give up so easily, I know you’re stronger than that!” Chisato pleaded sincerely. She was fighting hard to hold back her tears now.  
  
“I’m a Morning Musume! I’m under contract with Hello Project, my life is in Japan, not America!” Ayumi retorted on an indignant tone.  She was clinging strongly at Chisato’s outfit which quickly grew damp.  The girl was indeed sad but angry and frustrated at the same time.  
  
“I know you are under contract with Hello Project, as all of us, but you’re not married to this company. You’re free to stay and be an idol or to leave and start a new life…” Chisato explained on a soothing tone to help her kouhai to calm down.  
  
“I know it! I know I’m free to leave but I love to be a Morning Musume and a Hello Project member…” Ayumi stated in tears. Her eyes were now quite puffed but still beautiful and strangely sparkling.  
  
“You must discuss this issue with Riho-chan, Ishida-chan, to find solutions together but believe me, there’s always solutions, always…” Chisato pleaded with conviction.  
  
“You…you might be true…” The younger girl conceded while sniffing.  
  
“If you really love her and that it’s mutual, I’m sure you’ll find a solution together…”  
  
“Hyahhoi~ Ishida-chan! Still depressed about Riho-chan?” Mai asked happily while entering the room.  
  
Ayumi promptly left Chisato’s arms as soon as she noticed that Mai’s sight on her slightly hardened. Her usual sweet smile quickly came back as soon as the younger girl physically distanced herself from her senpai.  
  
“Don’t worry Ishida-chan, Riho-chan promised to come back! All you have to do is to be patient! And patience is a great quality, you know~…” Mai continued on a reassuring tone.  
  
“Yes, you’re right.” Ayumi politely answered without much conviction.  
  
“I go see Maachan Chissaa…You…you were sleeping AGAIN?!” Mai wheezed in a high pinch tone.  
  
“I never asked to be so exhausted! How can you be as good as new after what we’ve…” Chisato immediately shut her mouth when she realized what she was saying. Mai’s eyes widened in shock and the younger girl dropped a “Fool!” and lightly slapped her girlfriend’s head.  
  
“Sorry, it’s…forget it!” Chisato stuttered before being quiet again.  
  
Ayumi looked at Mai who was quickly leaving the room without turning back and then to Chisato with an inquiring look.  
  
“Do…do you happen to…go out together?” The Juuky asked shyly.  
  
“Ah, yes…yes…since February…” Chisato answered matter of factly but with an embarrassing look.  
  
“Congratulations! I know you’ve been in love with Hagiwara-san for so long! Well, everybody knew and…” Ayumi pleaded quietly and quite awkwardly.  
  
“Ah, yes…thank you…”  
  
A deafening silence was now filling the room. The two girls stayed still, unable to look at each other in the eyes. They were embarrassed and at a loss of what to say. Maybe it was time to say goodbye but Chisato unexpectedly talked again, quietly.  
  
“You know…I have the feeling that I’ve always been considered to be the hopeless girl in love in Hello Project, the one who was sure her love will never be mutual. Now it’s over and it’s like people respect me more…They don’t see me the same way anymore…”  
  
“I often feel the same way…” Ayumi confessed shyly although she was quite shocked by her senpai sudden confession.  
  
“What I want to say is that you mustn’t lock yourself in that love story, Ishida-chan. You’re talented: you dance great, your singing is good and you’re a really pretty girl. I know you’re in love with Riho-chan and it’s awesome but your life is not just that. I know you work hard to learn English and it’s fantastic, you must continue! I’m sure your efforts will pay!”  
  
“What are you trying to tell me Okai-san?” The younger girl asked, not understanding where her senpai was going.  
  
“What I try to tell you is that Riho-chan is working hard to build her life and you should do the same. I know it’s hard to wait two or three years for her comeback but look at your senpai, Michishige-san, she stayed in Morning Musume four years after Kamei-san graduated. You’re a strong willed person Ishida-chan, I’m sure you can do the same!”  
  
“Michishige-san is…an ideal which is so difficult to achieve…” Ayumi stated bitterly.  
  
“Michishige-san couldn’t dance well, she could barely sing and yet she became the best leader Morning Musume ever had. She made not just Kamei-san, but everybody proud of her. I’m sure you can do the same Ishida-chan. You’re proud of Riho-chan, let’s make Riho-chan and everybody proud of you!” Chisato pleaded with a disarming sincerity.  
  
“You’re right, I know it…but…it’s hard…there are days when it’s so hard to just stand up and do the job!” Ayumi answered with watery eyes.  
  
“Believe me, someday it won’t hurt so bad…And when Riho-chan will be done with her dance and English studies, even if she doesn’t want to come back to Japan, I’m sure you’ll somehow find a solution together because you love each other and this feeling is stronger than any difficulty.” Chisato reassured on a soothing tone with a soft smile.  
  
“Yes…” Ayumi nodded while holding back her tears.  
  
“What matters now is to focus on your work. You have the potential to be Morning Musume next ace, don’t waste it or I’m sure you’ll regret it later…”  
  
“Yes you’re right although I don’t think I have what it takes to be the next ace…” The younger girl stated shyly while looking away.  
  
“We’ll see but I’m confident about it. We’re so busy, these two years will pass in a blink of an eye, you can be sure about that!” Chisato pleaded with enthusiasm.  
  
“Thank you for listening to me Okai-san. I know you’re tired and all…I really appreciate!”Ayumi thanked her senpai sincerely with a bright smile.  
  
“Well…Airi was not here, so, I had to do the job! I’m your senpai too after all…If you ever feel down again, don’t hesitate to come and see me Ishida-chan…” The older girl suggested with a wink and a knowing smile.  
  
“I will! Thank you!” Ayumi answered cheerfully before bending and turning around to leave the room.  
  
“It’s not the end Ishida-chan! Never forget that it’s not the end until you decide it!” Chisato shouted to her kouhai.  
  
Ayumi left the room with a confident smile and a newly determined look in the eyes.  
Chisato was alone again and °C-ute had to be on stage in five minutes now. She wondered where her comrades went. She only knew where Mai was and she decided to meet her. She needed a kiss before going on stage. It was her new lucky charm.  
  
  
**THE END**

 

** **

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading 20!  
> I hope you liked the whole story as much as I loved writing it!  
> If you enjoyed it, I suggest you to read one of my other fanfics, Unrequited, which is a spin-off of this one. You may have discovered its main protagonist, Ayumi, as a guest in this last chapter ;)


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